Funny letter to a would-be mugger

This came to me by forwarded email, so I do not have a source. Funny, nonetheless.

AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown  Savannah   night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you . but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

U.S. Student Loan Amounts

There is an estimated $730 billion in outstanding federal and private student-loan debt, says Mark Kantrowitz of FinAid, a Web site that tracks financial-aid issues — and only 40% of that debt is actively being repaid. The rest is in default, or in deferment, which means payments and interest are halted, or in forbearance, which means payments are stopped while interest accrues.

(referenced from http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/CutCollegeCosts/the-555000-dollar-student-loan-debt.aspx)

A response to Preventing a pirate attack

An open letter to Daniel Jones, of GDS Publishing Ltd.
“The definitive resource for the global oil and gas energy industries online…”


Hello Mr. Jones,

 

I just read your well done article on ways to prevent a pirate attack.  I liked the infographic, and the descriptions that accompanied it.

http://www.ngoilgas.com/news/oil-tanker-pirate-attack/

While all seem to be interesting ideas, consider this:

Given that a M2 .50 caliber machine gun and spotlight mounted on the bow and stern would provide a physicalactualcapable, and pointed defense against any small to medium pirate attack…

Given that these ships travel in international water, where it is not reasonable to expect any police protection…

Given that the security issues of maintaining such weapons are important, but any organized army will entrust this and more powerful weapons to a trained 18 year old solider…

Given that the captain of the ship already has the responsiblity for life and wellbeing of his crew, not causing tremendous environmental disasters, and not crashing his ship…

Given that the pirates intend to use real military weapons to cause death and mayhem…

Why is it that such a reasonable (even if politically unlikely) method of defense was not even mentioned in your article — as if it didn’t exist?

As if it didn’t exist, when in reality, it is perhaps the most secure and reasonable approach to deterring armed pirates.   The same reason that army soldiers carry weapons.  The same reason that police carry weapons.  The same reason that security guards carry weapons.  The same reason that many civilians carry weapons.

May I suggest, that if  most rational people who would be asked why police carry weapons, were re-asked why oil tankers should carry weapons, the answer would be the same.

These are the same vessels that transport huge quantities of all kinds of goods, chemicals, military hardware, and other toxic, dangerous, or harmful substances.  It would be pathetic to think of transporting large quantities of cash from bank to bank without armed guards.  How much more so the cargo of merchant ships in the middle of the ocean?

In summary, why did you not mention this as a possibility in your otherwise excellent article?

Sincerely,

Jason Garber
Citizen, Father, Business Owner
Altoona, Pennsylvania

Update:  as soon as I posted this, these were the possibly related links that appeared.  Interesting…

Corner Office with a … Basement Light!

I’ve been working on moving into the new corner office with a view.  So far I have a chair, my laptop, a second monitor, keyboard, mouse, power strip, etc…

From the middle of the room, standing.

From the middle of the room, standing.

I must say — I love it.  It is indeed a unique experience to be working with your head about 7 feet off the floor.  It feels like and “office” but still a part of “home.

Tonight my 2 older sons and I went to Lowes to pick up some parts for a sub project.  We wanted to add some nice bright lighting underneath the platform, so they could host more activites down there.  They like puzzles and reading, so you need a good bit of light for that.

Our requirements were:

  • Low profile
  • Bright
  • Break-proof
  • A switch

I really didn’t want glass shattered all over the place, so good sturdy cover was required.  At the same time, sharp metal parts were out for safety reasons.

Purchased Light

We picked up satin nickel finish 48″ low profile fluorescent light fixture.  It has smooth edges, a sturdy plastic cover, and lies very flat.  But alas, it did not have a switch.  So we picked up some good sturdy wire nuts, a heavy duty toggle switch, and a grounded extension cord (soon to be light cord).

After we brought the light home and unpacked it, I started evaluating how I was going to mount it.  It was setup so the wires would go directly out the back, presumably into a junction box in the wall.  But we were  mounting it to solid wood, so that was a no-go.

So I did what any other red-blooded male would do in his workshop — dissembled the entire light.  Here we found that each side of the light is hollow aluminum, about 1.5×2.0″, and all of “their” wiring was in the one side.

craftsman-drill-pressFirst, we took the one aluminum piece and clamped it in my drill press.  Then using a 3/8″ end mill, I milled a slot about 1/2″ by 1″ – just large enough to slip a wire nut through.  (I know the drill press is not especially suited for that, but my milling machine was just too small).

Secondly, we drilled ~1/2″ holes in all four end caps.  Why four?  Because there were “functional” end caps, and “pretty” covers. That was a bit tricky, because the end caps were die-cast aluminum – not exactly the kind of material you want to clamp really hard.  And it was elliptical, so there was no convenient place to clamp it.  We ended up fabricating a custom hold-down setup using a 2×6, piece of scrap aluminum, and 2 wood screws.

Toggle Switch.  Custom made.

Toggle Switch. Custom installed.

Thirdly, we connected all the wires.  The extra wires were heavy gauge stranded wire normally used for house wiring.  On the one end, I mounted the toggle switch, and on the other end, I ran the cut end of the extension cord into the light fixture.  Each of the 8 connections were very carefully twisted and wire nutted, and then covered with 3M electrical tape, just for added security.

Lastly, we installed it. Using 3 normal wood screws, we attached it to the “ceiling” of the space under the platform – right up against the padded steel beam.

It really fits in, and is amazingly bright.  The really narrow florescent tubes perform quite well.  The boys love it, and it is quite safe (as far as banging heads off of it, etc…).

Here is a picture of the two boys under the platform in their PJ’s shortly after installation:

Two happy boys in their new play area, under my office.

Two happy boys in their new play area, under my office.

My new corner office with a view

Finally!  It’s (structurally) done!

This is most likely something you have never seen before, but…  We recently had our 4th child, a little girl named Anna.  So I need to clear my office out of the one bedroom that will soon be hers (yes, a bit late).  Needing somewhere to setup, I decided on the living room.  I really like being around the family in the evening/weekend when I am working on various projects.

So my boys and I undertook making an office in the corner of the living room.  Not a “normal” office, but a “floating” office.  In this way, we achieve several benefits:

  • The kids will play under the platform.
  • They love it
  • I will work on top of it.
  • I get a good perspective of the house.
  • Gained square footage
  • A “cool” factor for the kids.
  • The living room still feels “open”

The structure

This platform was made by creating a doubled 2″x6″ box about 6’x6′.  It was built one board at a time, each glued and screwed together.  It is attached directly to the studs with (16) 3/8 x 4 hex lag screws, and (12) tapcons into the fireplace.

The single floor support consists of an 80 pound steel beam (3×5″ tube), wrapped in an anti-fatigue mat (head bang protection).  This was chosen for its low profile and stiffness, providing the kids with more headroom.

The flooring is made of jointed 2×10 boards, all glued and screwed down.

The platform was encased in additional 2×10 boards, creating a rim both for apperance and to prevent things from rolling off the platform.

The single leg is a length of galvanized steel pipe threaded into a custom-made maple leg.

Hardwood laminate (pergo) was laid down on top of the 2×10 flooring.

The desk top is a custom mounted “Bullet Table” provided by Ellis Office Supply.

The Photos

From across living room, seated.

From across living room, seated.

From the middle of the room, standing.

From the middle of the room, standing.

Underneath

Underneath

Conclusion

Perhaps a bit strange?  Sure. Functional?  Completely. Fun?  Totally...

Now, what kind of computer deserves to be placed on that nice platform?  I’d love to hear comments on this one.