Funny letter to a would-be mugger

This came to me by forwarded email, so I do not have a source. Funny, nonetheless.

AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown  Savannah   night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what ‘s going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you . but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime.. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

Starting to use SolidWorks

We recently purchased a copy of SolidWorks to use with our various engineering projects.  In about 3 hours, I was able to learn how to create parts, assemblies, and drawings.  

The software (to this point) is nothing short of incredible.  And I’m just using the most basic features.  

Here is a graphic of Rubber Band Gun #6 internals…

55254

 

I’ll have more updates as we progress deeper into the software.

-Jason

Corner Office with a … Basement Light!

I’ve been working on moving into the new corner office with a view.  So far I have a chair, my laptop, a second monitor, keyboard, mouse, power strip, etc…

From the middle of the room, standing.

From the middle of the room, standing.

I must say — I love it.  It is indeed a unique experience to be working with your head about 7 feet off the floor.  It feels like and “office” but still a part of “home.

Tonight my 2 older sons and I went to Lowes to pick up some parts for a sub project.  We wanted to add some nice bright lighting underneath the platform, so they could host more activites down there.  They like puzzles and reading, so you need a good bit of light for that.

Our requirements were:

  • Low profile
  • Bright
  • Break-proof
  • A switch

I really didn’t want glass shattered all over the place, so good sturdy cover was required.  At the same time, sharp metal parts were out for safety reasons.

Purchased Light

We picked up satin nickel finish 48″ low profile fluorescent light fixture.  It has smooth edges, a sturdy plastic cover, and lies very flat.  But alas, it did not have a switch.  So we picked up some good sturdy wire nuts, a heavy duty toggle switch, and a grounded extension cord (soon to be light cord).

After we brought the light home and unpacked it, I started evaluating how I was going to mount it.  It was setup so the wires would go directly out the back, presumably into a junction box in the wall.  But we were  mounting it to solid wood, so that was a no-go.

So I did what any other red-blooded male would do in his workshop — dissembled the entire light.  Here we found that each side of the light is hollow aluminum, about 1.5×2.0″, and all of “their” wiring was in the one side.

craftsman-drill-pressFirst, we took the one aluminum piece and clamped it in my drill press.  Then using a 3/8″ end mill, I milled a slot about 1/2″ by 1″ – just large enough to slip a wire nut through.  (I know the drill press is not especially suited for that, but my milling machine was just too small).

Secondly, we drilled ~1/2″ holes in all four end caps.  Why four?  Because there were “functional” end caps, and “pretty” covers. That was a bit tricky, because the end caps were die-cast aluminum – not exactly the kind of material you want to clamp really hard.  And it was elliptical, so there was no convenient place to clamp it.  We ended up fabricating a custom hold-down setup using a 2×6, piece of scrap aluminum, and 2 wood screws.

Toggle Switch.  Custom made.

Toggle Switch. Custom installed.

Thirdly, we connected all the wires.  The extra wires were heavy gauge stranded wire normally used for house wiring.  On the one end, I mounted the toggle switch, and on the other end, I ran the cut end of the extension cord into the light fixture.  Each of the 8 connections were very carefully twisted and wire nutted, and then covered with 3M electrical tape, just for added security.

Lastly, we installed it. Using 3 normal wood screws, we attached it to the “ceiling” of the space under the platform – right up against the padded steel beam.

It really fits in, and is amazingly bright.  The really narrow florescent tubes perform quite well.  The boys love it, and it is quite safe (as far as banging heads off of it, etc…).

Here is a picture of the two boys under the platform in their PJ’s shortly after installation:

Two happy boys in their new play area, under my office.

Two happy boys in their new play area, under my office.